Emil
What I know about Emil:
He is self-proclaimedly evil.
He seems to have zero reason to be evil. In fact if he didn’t kidnap me and then tell me, I wouldn’t have guessed.
His favorite food is broccoli
He just happened to find out he was good at this card game so some weird organization took him in. He’s mostly only going through with this because he can and he has nothing better to do.
He’s bi and at times extremely flamboyant and at other times drop dead sexy.
He apparently thinks the best way to get thugs/henchmen is to pick them up at a shipping dock.
He has his hips pierced. I find this both hot and flamboyant. I think he is one of the few who can pull it off. He invited his men to check it out. >_>;; they declined.
he seems really dumb sometimes and other he’s in control.
He carries a satchel with weird “evil” things inside it. And starfruit. LOTS of starfruit.
What else I’ve learned:
Irene apparently doesn’t give a damn that I’ve been missing for two days. either that or she figures this is another one of my “stunts”. Or she doesn’t want her ass on the line for me going MIA.
There are dragons. WTF is up with the suburbs?
there is a legit way to steal people’s souls through a card game. weird, huh?
Meet Thugs and Brunette
Me: NOT appreciating being tied up!
Big guy who smells like fish and gasoline: Shut up.
Me: Tell me what the hell is going on!
Bandana face guy: You better shut it little girl. -shows me a bat-
Bloody nose guy ((that was my fault)): Beat that bitch up, Dirk.
Big Fish/Texaco Guy: Stop it you boneheads! ((impressive use of outdated insult)) Emil’s going to be here soon! I said we ain’t allowed to hurt her. Yet.
Me: What am I doing here and where the fuck is here? And who’s Emil?
-extremely gay ((not in the “that’s so lame and I’m an asshole” way but the “you’re no longer intimidating because now I can picture you wearing sequins and a feather boa” way)) One Republic ringtone plays-
Bandana face/ Dirk: Yeah, boss we got her. // uh yeah that one. // no we got confused a sec.// She was holding hands with Kaiba! Can you blame us for the confusion?! // hahahaha. I seeeee. // oh. Okay. -turns to me- You got a phone call. -holds phone out to me-
Me: I’m a little tied up. Literally. Jackass -he puts phone on speaker-
Emil: Hello?
Me: Wanna tell me why three thugs tied me up?
Emil: Is this Devynn Sevington?
Me: Yes. And when I say yes I mean for you to understand the gravity of the situation you are in.
Emil: I’m at a place you don’t know and I’m currently unrecognizable to you, even if you COULD see me. You are tied up and my guys know how to break people.
Me: And I have money which I intend to use to legally and financially bitchslap you as soon as one of these idiots makes a mistake.
Emil: Do you know Andrew Tudor?
Me: Who? Oh. -eyeroll-
Emil: I understand that he is very attached to you.
Me: He’s practically stalking me.
Emil: Oh, so he’ll come for you then?
Me: Are you trying to get to him through me?
Emil: In a word: yes.
Me: Wouldn’t it have been easier to just kidnap him instead of me? I gave one of your guys a bloodynose.
Emil: Tudor could’ve killed one of them if he wanted to.
Me: THAT pansy? I wouldn’t be surprised if he said prayers for each banana he puts in the blender for a smoothie.
Emil: hahahaha. Pansy?
The door opens and a very gorgeous brunette guy walks in. He has green eyes. It’s Emil.
Emil: Okay, which one of you freaks dressed her in that?
Fish and gasoline: She came like that! We swear.
Emil: Oh really?
Me: Like I’d let them get anywhere near that.
Emil: Obviously this is all going according to your plan. -smirk-
Me: Why do you want Captain America anyway?
Emil: I need his dragon or his soul. He needs to be removed.
Me: Not that I would mind his removal, but seriously, I’m getting extremely pissed off here.
Emil: I’m obviously here to comfort you.
Me: -ignores the sarcasm- Can we atleast get this over with? I hate waiting.
Emil: As you wish.
dragon. wtf.
So, there’s a dragon in the middle of the street. I’m like what the fuck is that thing?! Drew runs off with a bow and arrow, off to save the world. He’s like “stay back” and Im like, hell no! So I grab Matt and we run outside then there’s some psycho japanese kid (whoever does his hair needs to be shot in the face point blank) is screaming about “Orikarukosu” and then him and Matt start playing a fucking card game. Nevermind the fucking reptile in the middle of town! Oh, wait turns out that the reptile is in on their game!
Gwen had been throwing pink mana balls at it. I guess I’m not the only special one here. Dammit. She can fly. Kevin’s absorbing the pavement and coating himself in it trough osmosis or some such shit.
Oh yeah, and it turns out that Ben is able to shape shift into fucking aliens.
At least suburbia isn’t boring anymore. Drew is the only one who is apparently normal. He’s gone medieval and is shooting arrows at the thing.
Suddenly the game is over. A tie. As in what a waste of time.
And now the Kaibas are trying to take me somewhere. and I’m like “Fuck no! What the hell is going on here?!”
And then big men in black coats decide to take me by force. I kick one in the face. Does not help my situation.
Where is your crazed stalker, when you really need him?
A what?
Mrs. Kaiba arranged a date. She wasn’t shy about it either. I’m glad I don’t have an overbearing mom.
Oh wait. I do. She just doesn’t give a damn to do anything other than interfere. She won’t even do it in person because I’m so fucking far down on her list of priorities.
Anyway, Matt and I had a date. Mrs. Kaiba never called it that, but we all knew that’s what she intended it to be. except Jo ended up coming too. So then we ended up finding a date for her. But it got weird really fast.
Mrs. Kaiba: Oh, Devynn, darling, you’re here.
Me: Hi, Mrs. Kaiba–
Mrs. Kaiba: Ellie
Me: Ellie… Um, was there any reason why you needed me here so badly?
Ellie: Yes. It is of the utmost importance that you put this on.
Me: What?
She hands me a ring
Me: What is it?
Ellie: -turnsaway- nothing. I just wanted to see what it looks like on you.
Me: ummm, I’d rather not.
Ellie: MATSUO. COME AND SEE YOUR GUEST.
Me: I thought you had invited me.
Ellie: What’s that? oh nevermind that dear.
Matt: Who? oh. her. -eyerollglare-
Jo: Oh. Miss Sevington. -sigh-
Ellie: You two have fun at that diner.
Me and Matt: What?!
Jo: Oh. -sigh-
Matt: C-Can Jo come?!
Ellie: What?
Me: uhh…
Jo: I wouldn’t want to intrude…
Matt: INTRUDE ON WHAT?
Ellie: NOTHING. THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU COULD BE INTRUDING ON. ((Mrs. Kaiba missed the subtlety lesson in life…))
Me: Uh, Jo! You wanna meet someone?
Jo: What?
Me: Like, uh…. a date!
Matt: A WHAT?
Jo: what “a what?”?
Matt: NO A WHAT. ((Matt also missed this life lesson))
Ellie: So it’s a double date!
Matt: A WHAT?
Ellie: A NOTHING.
And that’s how it started….
matthewmatics
So, I was bored. Irene was pre-occupied (I don’t know why but I don’t really care right now) and Trent and Link were being dumbasses. An ocean away and they STILL piss me off.
Oh, but Link would like me to publicly acknowledge that I do not prefer Trent over him. They both piss me off in different but equivalent ways.
Anyway, I was bored and I figured I’d meet the girl (Jo) and see how she and matt interact. Sadly, he isn’t home. Jo is alone. >_>;; what a stupid thing to do. what idiot leaves the girl of his dreams alone in his house to wreak havoc and discover embarrassing things in his room.?
Apparently the son of a multimillion dollar technology firm =_=;;
So I introduce myself in Japanese and she looks like she’s surprised that I speak it. She seems pretty chill. I ask if Matt’s home. She looks at me funny and says he isn’t. She invites me inside (I think out of habit). apparently she has a little brother who’s with Liza. Matt’s at work. we talk a little bit. I in my mutant japanese and her in pretty damn correct but slightly awkward english. I think she’s a little disappointed. She’s upset by how much me and him correspond mathematically.
We’re both from big money. Both don’t really want to take over the family business. Both dress fairly nicely. Both have crazed stalkers (I think he found this blog but I really don’t give a damn. it’s his internet too).
numbers help even the odds, but chemistry is something you can’t fake. it’s a trump card.
Also there have been a LOT of explosions lately. there is some weird crap going down in this suburb. apparently we get a lot of odd creature visits >_>;;
The Plan
Love is war. I don’t care what anyone else says.
Dating is more fun when it’s a power struggle. It’s a power struggle of the best kind, when you don’t even know if you want the power or not, but you just want to show someone what you’re made of.
Since it’s war I like to pick people apart.
Matt is stubborn and unsure of himself at the same time. He likes to argue. He also is so unsure that if you ask him a question he will not answer right away, but ask the question to himself. Then he gets frustrated. He doesn’t want to ignore these things though. He HAS to come up with something to say back. He cannot deal with quiet victory. This is how I flirt with him. argue poke holes in his logic. make him unsure about how he feels about me. Of course the master plan is to make him so unsure what he feels about me that Jo feels sure about the way she feels about me and him and then about how she feels about him and her and then when she starts to pull away Matt becomes sure about how he feels about her.
And thus is my plan.
Ricky has officially left the building and the Jounouchis have arrived. We’re supposed to all meet up at the diner tomorrow. Great. Drew better not interfere or I will put my stillettos so far up into his ass that he tastes the Michael Kors in his mouth.
Jo has a brother who came too. I wonder how this added variable will affect my plans.
And Link needs to stop “accidentally” sending my parents dirty emails anonymously. =_= not funny Link. This is why I like your brother better than you. :P
cellular
Boo.
<<From Devynn Sevington>>
Stop txting me.
<<From Boring yet Entertaining>>
hmm…. no. :-P
<<From Devynn Sevington>>
I don’t care if you’re Liza’s friend, you’re pissing me off.
<<From Boring yet Entertaining>>
Going to sick your little fan girls on me Matsuo?
<<From Devynn Sevington>>
Fuck you. And how did you know my name?
<<From Boring yet Entertaining>>
Your dad said it at dinner. I didn’t waste my time googling you. :P
<<From Devynn Sevington>>
I’m in a meeting now.
<<From Boring yet Entertaining>>
If you were you wouldn’t be txting me.
<<From Devynn Sevington>>
I’m nearly there. Leave me alone!
<<From Boring yet Entertaining>>
<<Name Changed Saved: Devynn Sevington is now Harpy Lady>>
You’re fun to mess with. Let’s mess around after your meeting and you can tell me all about this lovely Josephine.
<<From Harpy Lady>>
<<Name Changed Saved: Harpy Lady is now Harpy’s Pet Dragon>>
Matt
Matt is annoying. :P
He’s broody despite the fact that he has everything. He’s quiet and moody and hides a lot. He’s always annoyed, like he has a permanent chip on his shoulder.
That’s why he’s fun.
He’s so easy to mess with.
All I have to do is talk to him until it looks like I’ve hit something that pisses him off. Then I build on that. xD He gets really upset, but he doesn’t wanna really say anything. Hahahahaha >D
I’ve also discovered his fangirls. Whattabunch of psychos. This girl threatened to beat the shit out of me because I pulled on Matt’s cute little face. I flipped her off :P Then she started screaming at me and ran after me. I slapped her and told her that if she wanted him then she should talk to him like a normal person. I have a stalker and that person is probably the LAST person I’d be interested in. She ran away crying. Stupid bitches piss me off.
So the girl’s coming in a week or two. We have a long weekend. Her brother’s coming too. Fun. Looks like I’m pulling the jealousy plot. Again. It’s the safest of all the matchmaking plots. :P
Ricky says he’s going out of town that weekend on a ski trip. That’s good. I don’t wanna fuck things up with him.
dinner at the Kaiba Mansion
Mrs. Kaiba: Hi! Oh, it’s so nice to see that Liza’s been making friends.
Me: Oh it’s no problem, she’s such a sweetheart.
Mrs. Kaiba: She’s pretty, Matt. [[obnoxious wink]]
Matt: Kill me now.
Me: Uhhh, thanks Mrs. Kaiba…
Mrs. Kaiba: Call me Ellie.
Matt: [[eye roll]]
Me: Okay… Ellie….
Ellie: Hold on just a moment, dear. [[turns towards stairs]] SETO. SETO! HURRY UP AND GET YOUR TIGHT BUTT DOWN HERE!
Matt: [[facepalm]] fuckmylife.
Me: I’m glad I don’t live with my parents…
Ellie: What was that?
Me: when is Liza going to be here?
Ellie: Any minute now. [[to Matt]] You know your sister really should be here. It’s her guest.
Matt: ….
Ellie: I’ll leave you two alone now. [[wink]] ((oh my god, this woman is a compulsive winker!))
Matt: …. I think I’m going to leave. or commit suicide.
Me: … I would.
Liza: I’m back!
Matt: where were you?
Liza: I found a penny on my way home and then I saw a cat and I started playing with it.
Matt: [[this face: =_=;;]] Do you have any idea what kaa-san DID?
Liza: no?
Matt: [[walks away in defeat]]
Mr. Kaiba: [[comes down the stairs]] oh. hello.
Liza: Tou-san, this is Devynn.
Mr. Kaiba: Sevington?
Me: yeah.
Mr. Kaiba: oh.
[[silence]]
Mr. Kaiba: Uh, did you hear my wife—
Me: I will wipe my memory of it. ((btw, I tried, can’t. somethings just can’t be un-heard/un-imagined))
Liza: Let’s have dinner!
—
[[dinner]]
Me: Wow, Mrs. Kaiba. This looks amazing! You did a fantastic job.
Ellie: It’s Ellie. and the food is catered.
Me: You didn’t do that just because I stopped by did you?
Mr. Kaiba: This is how we survive. Ellie can’t cook–
Ellie: SETO.
Liza: Devynn always has really pretty outfits.
Me: Thanks Liza.
Ellie: She’s pretty, isn’t she matt?
Matt: …
Mr. Kaiba: Ellie…
Liza: Mom, can’t you see he’s texting his beloved Jo?
Mr. Kaiba: What?!
Matt: What?!
Me: Is she pretty?
Liza: Yeah!
Mr. Kaiba: she didn’t get her father’s genes…
Ellie: Seto!
Matt: Oto-san!
Me: I want to meet her!
Liza: SHE SHOULD COME VISIT US!
Ellie: YES!
Mr. Kaiba: No!
Matt: uhhh…..
Ellie: setoooooooo [[whining]]
Liza: Otou- saaaaaaaannnnn [[also whining]]
Mr. Kaiba: do whatever the hell you want.
Ellie and Liza: [[high five]]
—a little while later—
[[constant texting]]
Ellie: could you all please cut it out?
[[ignore]]
Ellie: we’re having dinner…
[[ignore]]
Ellie: PHONES ON THE TABLE. NOW.
[[we hand our phones over]]
Ellie: Thank you.
Mr. Kaiba: So Devynn, your parents run Velocity24 Industries?
Devynn: yeah. They do. I try to stay out of what they do.
Mr. Kaiba: You have no desire to take over?
Devynn: None whatsoever.
Mr. Kaiba: Matsuo, marry this girl. You’re obviously soulmates.
Matt: [[chokes on rice]] *coughhack* OTOU-SAN!
Mr. Kaiba: It was only a joke.
Devynn: Does he not want to take over Kaiba Corp?
Mr. Kaiba: Nope
Ellie: He’s not terribly interested in it, though he would be good at it.
Devynn: He shouldn’t have to if he doesn’t want to. What’s the point in giving your kid everything if you don’t give them freedom?
Mr. Kaiba: Duty! He has to repay his debt to this company.
Liza: [[attempting to change topics]] uhhhhh
Ellie: Devynndoyouspeakjapanese?
Me: Yeah, I do.
Ellie: I heard Liza telling me about it yesterday.
Me: It’s kind of weird Japanese though. It’s a mix of book-learned Japanese, normal japanese, and slang, the majority of which is probably outdated.
Ellie: Have you ever been to Japan?
Me: Yes. My mother’s family still lives there.
Ellie: Oh, isn’t that nice. You know, Matt, since you miss your friends so much you could go back there for a month or two over the summer and take Devynn too and teacher her proper Japanese.
Matt: MOTHER. Are you SERIOUSLY encouraging your 17 year old son to take a 15-16 year old girl he’s just met to go on an extended vacation halfway across the planet?!
Mr. Kaiba: Ellie, what are you thinking? Remember me at 17? Our hormones were crazy–
Matt: ugh! May I be excused? I think I’m going to vomit!
Liza: Otou-san…. please…. we have a guest….
The dinner was pretty quiet after that.
Cohorts in Milan
He’s pretty hot, but he’s kind of boring.
<<from Miss Sevington Our Personal Toy>>
D, u realize we dont care what he looks lyk right?
<<from Trent: Lovable Dumbass>>
Srsly. we get enuf of that luvy-duvy crap on ur blog. unless, u wanna tell us how hot we r. (I’m the hotter 1, btw T)
<<from Link: Dirty Minded>>
Uh, no. I’ll lay off the sexiness talk. He’s texting too. I wonder who. Jo?
<<from Miss Sevington Our Personal Toy>>
R u allowed to be txting @ the table?
<<from Trent: Lovable Dumbass>>
Babe, you know I don’t even have to look at my phone to txt. just to read.
<<from Miss Sevington Our Personal Toy>>
U need 2 get the girl over there. Then you can just do the jealousy plot.
<<from Link: Dirty Minded>>
That’s original -_-;;
<<from Miss Sevington Our Personal Toy>>
Hey, dont knock it if it works. :P
<<from Link: Dirty Minded>>
God, I have to end up being such a whore just 2 get 2 people together. xP
<<from Miss Sevington Our Personal Toy>>
Ur good at it. XD
<<from Link: Dirty Minded>>
Shut up Link.
<<from Trent: Lovable Dumbass>>
Thank you, Trent.
<<from Miss Sevington Our Personal Toy>>
It’s not her fault she has a talent for being a ho.
<<from Trent: Lovable Dumbass>>
O, burnnnn Devvie-doll
<<from Link: Dirty Minded>>
Shut the hell up.
<<from Miss Sevington Our Personal Toy>>
